Understanding Conflict (I)

The world was shaped through the existence of conflict – conflict of wants and needs, beliefs and ethics, conflict as a rite of passage and/or tradition, conflict as a perceived necessity to ensure the continuity of one as an individual, society or nation. Inversely, the world was also shaped by the actions taken to address, avoid and/or remedy conflict, from which arises a plethora of wants for better lives, security, opportunity and mutual gain. Conflict, to a certain degree, is a natural occurrence that while mostly unsavoury, can even be viewed as a means and therefore a necessity towards a greater understanding between two parties.

While conflict exists on any and all degrees, the focus of this post will be on the occurrence of it in everyday life. At an interpersonal level, conflict can arise from hardship, clashes in approach, views on certain trigger subjects (religion and politics come to mind), betrayal between friends or partners, even as a result from nothing else but emotional conditioning. When addressing conflict, people tend to focus on the defining factors of that specific instance rather than view conflict as a self contained concept. Humans, being the highly complex creatures that we are, are quick to forget that others live a life just as emotionally deep and rich as we do. The result of this is the subconscious habit of underestimating how much peoples views are framed around experiences that we have not had, or the anecdotes they may have heard, or even how effective that anecdote might be depending on who provided it and if that person is held in high regard.

Conflict is solidified because two parties cannot understand (or can, but aren't willing to admit) that their solution to or the framework of the subject is only based on the experiences they have had, and the 'truths' they had come to adopt on a matter as a result of that. Take for example, two men who are both experiencing the loss of a family member. In their grieving they come to associate things with death differently and eventually, accept those understandings as their 'truths' on the matter. The reason why conflict tends to be a downward spiral is that humans are so self absorbed that it is just easier and more natural to base things on the truths one has experienced rather than process a train of thought in a completely foreign framing (even then, the adoption of which is subjected to the person's biases).

Of course, it would be impossible to completely rid the world of conflict. However, at Mediate2Resolve Online, we offer professional mediation services for a host of situations, ranging from disagreements with a spouse or disputes with a colleague at work. Please click here to be taken to our website and explore our full range of services and workshops.