Mediation – With One's Self Before One Another (II)

Being a process that involves two or more parties and a neutral third party, how can mediation apply to oneself? The answer is in its approach – mediation takes time in listening to both sides of a conflict. The outcome isn't skewered by bias and the third party ultimately has no say in your decision, allowing you to adopt a more unencumbered approach to resolving the situation. This is admittedly something most of us will have trouble with when it comes to ourselves – dispelling bias. It's simple to fall into the misguided understanding that if for example you find a certain personality trait repellent, the trait surely must be inherently “bad”. In reality, the mental framework that we have spent a lifetime putting together on any one thing or subject only makes resolution more difficult by closing ourselves off to a different perspective.

This is where the mediation process employs a third party – by introducing a component in the process that will not benefit in any way, thus eliminating any wants or bias that may stem from those wants. In order to resolve conflict within oneself, one must first detach his wants from his actions and decide if they are of a proportionate degree, and whether or not they are worth the morals and values you are either upholding or pushing aside.

The point of this is to come out of the process clearer about what you want and how you want to achieve it, while gauging what you're willing to sacrifice and who you're willing to hurt (be it yourself or someone else) and whether or not it is objectively 'worth' it. Mediation has proven effective because it does not focus on the truth or fault of an instance and those involved, but rather how the problem can be remedied. One cannot hope to resolve a conflict with someone if one is unsure of what he wants – and while everyone may handle it differently, this has proven effective not only in assessing oneself, but in providing a sense of becoming while doing so.

Of course, conflict resolution involves a wide range of soft skills that not everyone may possess. At Mediate2Resolve Online, we offer professional mediation services for a host of situations, ranging from disputes with a colleague to disagreements with a partner. Please click here to be taken to our website and explore our full range of services and workshops.