Opportunities for Value Exchange in Negotiations and Mediation

A few weeks ago, I coached middle executives in mediator skills. One of the questions I would ask each of those that I had the privilege of mentoring is: what are your strengths? Apparently, I had hit on a very difficult question, for although almost all of them were able to tell me where they wanted or needed improvement, none could tell me specifically what value they could bring to the table.

So here is the crux of this article. If you do not know your value and what you bring to the negotiation or proceedings, how will you be able to effectively conduct negotiations, whether as 3^rd party neutral mediator or even as one of the parties. All negotiations involve an exchange of value between parties, and each counterpart must feel that they obtain value as they give away value.

In a mediation situation, the mediator must know his/her own quantity and skills in order to extract the maximum value from the parties. This translates to the experience of the parties during the mediation, and whether they walk away feeling satisfied from the proceedings. Although satisfaction is an intangible outcome, it is measurable in the sense that if the mediator had not done his/her job properly, parties would be left feeling cheated or dissatisfied. Often times, any settlement or resolution achieved at the mediation, would be reneged upon or not carried out.

There are 2 aspects here-

·      Value brought by the mediator

·      Value of the pie contributed by both parties, and expansion of the pie through the value brought by the mediator

The first aspect, concerning value brought by the mediator in an interest-based mediation means the skills of the mediator in creating movement, uncovering underlying interests and helping parties to explore and create options as well as evaluating those options in order to guide participants to a resolution. This involves self-knowledge of the mediator of his/her own special talents and the toolbox that the mediator brings to the table in the management of the process.

The second aspect follows the first, because a self-aware mediator will also be able to bring out the full value of the dynamics, and not merely re-state the position of the parties and shuttle between one party to the other in a semblance of bargaining or horse-trading. Once the full extent of the parties’ interests has been uncovered and the available options discussed, then only can the exchange of value occur and even that in gradual stages through the guidance of a skilled mediator.

One of my observations from coaching is that new or beginning mediators tend to be solutions-driven, and in that mode, might exert unseen pressure on the parties to settle thereby overlooking any additional value that could be created and claimed by the parties, or worse, asking one party to give up value in exchange for nothing.

If you would like to learn more about exchanging value in negotiations or mediation or conflict resolution, email us at mediate2resolveonline@gmail.com.