A few weeks ago, I coached middle executives in mediator
skills. One of the questions I would ask each of those that I had the privilege
of mentoring is: what are your strengths? Apparently, I had hit on a very
difficult question, for although almost all of them were able to tell me where
they wanted or needed improvement, none could tell me specifically what value
they could bring to the table.
So here is the crux of this article. If you do not know your
value and what you bring to the negotiation or proceedings, how will you be
able to effectively conduct negotiations, whether as 3rd party
neutral mediator or even as one of the parties. All negotiations involve an
exchange of value between parties, and each counterpart must feel that they
obtain value as they give away value.
In a mediation situation, the mediator must know his/her own
quantity and skills in order to extract the maximum value from the parties.
This translates to the experience of the parties during the mediation, and
whether they walk away feeling satisfied from the proceedings. Although
satisfaction is an intangible outcome, it is measurable in the sense that if
the mediator had not done his/her job properly, parties would be left feeling cheated
or dissatisfied. Often times, any settlement or resolution achieved at the
mediation, would be reneged upon or not carried out.
There are 2 aspects here-
·
Value brought by the mediator
·
Value of the pie contributed by both parties,
and expansion of the pie through the value brought by the mediator
The first aspect, concerning value brought by the mediator in
an interest-based mediation means the skills of the mediator in creating
movement, uncovering underlying interests and helping parties to explore and
create options as well as evaluating those options in order to guide
participants to a resolution. This involves self-knowledge of the mediator of
his/her own special talents and the toolbox that the mediator brings to the
table in the management of the process.
The second aspect follows the first, because a self-aware
mediator will also be able to bring out the full value of the dynamics, and not
merely re-state the position of the parties and shuttle between one party to
the other in a semblance of bargaining or horse-trading. Once the full extent
of the parties’ interests has been uncovered and the available options
discussed, then only can the exchange of value occur and even that in gradual stages
through the guidance of a skilled mediator.
One of my observations from coaching is that new or beginning
mediators tend to be solutions-driven, and in that mode, might exert unseen pressure
on the parties to settle thereby overlooking any additional value that could be
created and claimed by the parties, or worse, asking one party to give up value
in exchange for nothing.
