How to Choose a Good Mediator

If you have never undergone a mediation session, how would you go about choosing a mediator that will give you the best experience and ensure that you have explored all the possible outcomes there are? Here are a few characteristics you might look out for:

1. Did you sense that the mediator can establish rapport? This is very important because a sense of rapport will encourage parties to communicate with each other. Communication is the foundation for a productive mediation experience.

2. Will the mediator be creative and operate from an interest-based perspective? A trained facilitative mediator will gently guide parties to identify their interests, and from there help you to generate options for meeting those interests. Ask the mediator about his approach to conflict resolution and see if she mentions the term "interests".

3. Does the mediator seem to be able to listen? Good mediators are highly skilled at active-listening: acknowledging, paraphrasing and asking questions to tease out the best communication between parties.

4. Is the mediator patient and tenacious? How would you know this until you get into a relationship with somebody? There are a few indicators. If the person takes his time to explain and answer all your questions well, if he or she speaks to you respectfully and not condescendingly, there is a high likelihood that the person will be patient as a mediator.

5. Must the mediator have some sort of industry knowledge or background in the type of dispute you're facing? Well, a good mediator does not need to have domain expertise although it would be useful. However, some mediators are particularly good in certain areas such as marital mediation or community mediation, so it may be worthwhile to enquire about their experience.

Contact us at mediate2resolveonline.com if you need a good mediator.

7 Steps to Resolve a Workplace Dispute with a Co-Worker

Conflicts are an inevitable part of life, and when present in a working environment, does not necessarily mean that the workplace is dysfunctional but instead signal that employees are engaged and interested. What is important though is how these conflicts are handled and resolved. Despite most people being wired to avoid conflict, it is necessary to address conflict immediately and constructively, before it turns the working environment toxic.

If you have experienced a situation where you and your co-worker simply cannot get along, but it is necessary for the working relationship that you continue coordinating with that person, you might want to consider taking the following steps to de-escalate, and potentially diffuse, rising tensions-

1.     Communicate your desire to sit down and talk.  You could do this personally, or with a respectfully worded email inviting him or her to have a chat. Take it outside the office environment, if necessary.

2.     At the meeting, set the tone for a collaborative approach and accept responsibility for your part in the dispute.

3.     Ask your co-worker his views on the disputed issue. Listen_actively to what he says by paraphrasing what you hear, asking questions and acknowledging his concerns. Calmly allow your colleague to vent his emotions or frustrations, because this would be the best way to uncover his/her interests. Then assertively convey your views and your interests.

4.     Reality-check the assumptions underlying both your interests.

5.     Brainstorm some creative options for meeting both your interests.

6.     Check that the options are implementable.

7.     Finally, agree on the steps going forward.

If you find it difficult to navigate the discussions by yourself, you could suggest that a 3^rd party act as a mediator to facilitate the communication with your co-worker.

For a great blog post on workplace revenge (not! recommended by the author) visit Conflictremedy.com

Contact Mediate2ResolveOnline.com if you would like our online mediator to help you. You can take your discussions online, in a convenient, efficient and cost-effective manner.

Active Listening for Successful Communication

It seems counterintuitive, but the best communicators usually are very good listeners.

There are two types of listening, passive listening and active listening. Passive listening entail only some of your attention, with the occasional "uhuh" being thrown in from time to time. Active listening, on the other hand, is hard work and you will find that it really is the best tool for managing all sorts of communicational situations.

There are three aspects to active listening-
1. Paraphrasing the speaker's words without agreeing with him/her or being selective or manipulative. You do this by saying "It seems...(you repeat the last 3 or 4 words or the gist of his words)";
2. Inquiring by asking open ended questions to the speaker's statements such as "How would ....have helped you achieve...?"
3. Acknowledging any underlying feelings or emotions by empathizing (not sympathising). Empathy does not mean you are agreeing, but you acknowledge their sentiments.

See how active listening can be used in negotiations to uncover the other party's underlying interests.