How to Choose a Good Mediator

If you have never undergone a mediation session, how would you go about choosing a mediator that will give you the best experience and ensure that you have explored all the possible outcomes there are? Here are a few characteristics you might look out for:

1. Did you sense that the mediator can establish rapport? This is very important because a sense of rapport will encourage parties to communicate with each other. Communication is the foundation for a productive mediation experience.

2. Will the mediator be creative and operate from an interest-based perspective? A trained facilitative mediator will gently guide parties to identify their interests, and from there help you to generate options for meeting those interests. Ask the mediator about his approach to conflict resolution and see if she mentions the term "interests".

3. Does the mediator seem to be able to listen? Good mediators are highly skilled at active-listening: acknowledging, paraphrasing and asking questions to tease out the best communication between parties.

4. Is the mediator patient and tenacious? How would you know this until you get into a relationship with somebody? There are a few indicators. If the person takes his time to explain and answer all your questions well, if he or she speaks to you respectfully and not condescendingly, there is a high likelihood that the person will be patient as a mediator.

5. Must the mediator have some sort of industry knowledge or background in the type of dispute you're facing? Well, a good mediator does not need to have domain expertise although it would be useful. However, some mediators are particularly good in certain areas such as marital mediation or community mediation, so it may be worthwhile to enquire about their experience.

Contact us at mediate2resolveonline.com if you need a good mediator.

Benefits of mediation for custody issues in inter-religious divorce disputes

An inter-religious marriage occurs when two people of differing faiths marry, and each spouse retains his/her own faith. „Differing religious beliefs and teachings, beliefs and practices about God, deities, humanity and the universe may cause conflict , especially when it affects the child or children of the marriage. This problem becomes acute when parents divorce, and disputes arise relating to the custody and upbringing of the children.

Mediation is so beneficial in this instance because „parents are given the opportunity to carve out their own collaborative outcomes with the assistance of the mediator facilitating the negotiation. The mediator can use techniques to assist both spouses to resolve their religious conflicts and come up with a parenting plan for the child. Options that meet the interests of the parties would be generated and considered and the resulting agreement should resolve divorce contestations and resolve future issues on parenting.

Throughout the process, the question of fault in the relationship is not germane to the process of mediation as the interests of the child is the paramount consideration.

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Mediation in culture: Malaysia as a case study

Malaysia is a multi-cultural and diverse society. Sometimes, each culture will live within a defined geographical community such as a village, and other times, in more urban areas the cultures co-exist in one huge melting pot.

Each community or village would have its own dispute resolution processes, dealing with simple transgressions such as theft of chicken and lifestock to the very rare instances of more serious crimes such as murder. The ketua kampung (village chief) usually dispenses summarily with minor offences and arbitrates neighbourly disputes. Often times, the imam (Muslim religious leader) would also be called upon to give his opinion. When a matter needs to be escalated, it may be brought up to the penghulu or orang besar, meaning the chieftan of the district, right up to the Sultan, usually the final arbiter of disputes.

 Amongst the Chinese community, life was often regulated by clan strictures and clan leaders often arbitrated or mediated disputes. The Indian community in Malaysia tend to be organised along ethno-linguistic lines such as the Tamils, the Malayalees, the Telegu as well as those of the other Indian sub-continent communities such as the Sri Lankans, the Benggalis and the Punjabis. Each have their own dispute resolution mechanism, with the panchayat system having been used rudimentarily at the lowest economic level in the Tamil communities.
The ethnic tribes of Sabah and Sarawak similarly have their own processes, usually involving tribal chieftains and priess.
In the suburban areas, the concept of rukun tetangga was introduced by the government to encourage self-help and self-reliance amongst the more diversified communities. Mediation by community leaders is part of the idea.

Contact www.mediate2resolveonline.com for professional mediation of your disputes.

Online Mediation

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In both mediation and online mediation a neutral mediator who is trained assists the parties to open up the channels of communication to negotiate a mutually acceptable and satisfactory agreement. During a face-to-face mediation meeting the mediator and the parties will meet at a pre-agreed venue.. In online mediation, all communications between you, the other party  and the mediator take place through online mechanisms via the Internet, video-conferencing  and telephone conferencing via a desktop computer, laptop, smartphone or Android phone.

Contact Mediate2ResolveOnline.com if you would like one of our online mediators to facilitate your discussions.

The role of Mediator according to different conflict theories

Mediation is a process of dispute resolution in which a neutral and impartial third party facilitates and assists parties in negotiating a consensual and informed agreement. There are different styles and forms of mediation practiced. The primary difference relates to the role of the mediator. The extent to which the mediator has control over the process may vary according to the style of mediation used. Generally there are three different styles of mediation namely evaluative mediation (substance-oriented), transformative mediation (relationship-oriented) and facilitative mediation (process -oriented).

The evaluative mediation process is modeled on settlement conferences conducted by judges. The role of the evaluative mediator is to control the bargaining interactions between the parties, assist parties and their lawyers to evaluate the parties’ legal position and the costs involved. They also decide what the best deal is for the parties.

The transformative mediation process focusses on “empowerment” of the parties and the primary concern is future party relationships. The transformative mediator’s role is to generate mutual respect for one another and to create “inter-party recognition” of each others needs, interests, and viewpoints which will lead to them working to achieve mutually acceptable solutions. The role of the mediator is to generate inter-party empathy so as to induce each other to appreciate feelings and perspectives of their opponents. 

The most popular style of mediation and the one used by our mediators at www.mediate2resolveonline.com is facilitative mediation defined as “a process by which the participants, together with the assistance of a neutral third person or persons, systematically isolate dispute issues in order to develop options, consider alternatives and reach consensual settlements that will accommodate their needs. The key feature of this definition is the principle of self-determination and party autonomy. Parties must voluntarily participate in the process to make it a success. Parties cannot be compelled to negotiate a settlement against their wishes.

7 Steps to Resolve a Workplace Dispute with a Co-Worker

Conflicts are an inevitable part of life, and when present in a working environment, does not necessarily mean that the workplace is dysfunctional but instead signal that employees are engaged and interested. What is important though is how these conflicts are handled and resolved. Despite most people being wired to avoid conflict, it is necessary to address conflict immediately and constructively, before it turns the working environment toxic.

If you have experienced a situation where you and your co-worker simply cannot get along, but it is necessary for the working relationship that you continue coordinating with that person, you might want to consider taking the following steps to de-escalate, and potentially diffuse, rising tensions-

1.     Communicate your desire to sit down and talk.  You could do this personally, or with a respectfully worded email inviting him or her to have a chat. Take it outside the office environment, if necessary.

2.     At the meeting, set the tone for a collaborative approach and accept responsibility for your part in the dispute.

3.     Ask your co-worker his views on the disputed issue. Listen_actively to what he says by paraphrasing what you hear, asking questions and acknowledging his concerns. Calmly allow your colleague to vent his emotions or frustrations, because this would be the best way to uncover his/her interests. Then assertively convey your views and your interests.

4.     Reality-check the assumptions underlying both your interests.

5.     Brainstorm some creative options for meeting both your interests.

6.     Check that the options are implementable.

7.     Finally, agree on the steps going forward.

If you find it difficult to navigate the discussions by yourself, you could suggest that a 3^rd party act as a mediator to facilitate the communication with your co-worker.

For a great blog post on workplace revenge (not! recommended by the author) visit Conflictremedy.com

Contact Mediate2ResolveOnline.com if you would like our online mediator to help you. You can take your discussions online, in a convenient, efficient and cost-effective manner.